A team like Mason could never be able to absorb the sanctions and what-not from a Louisville-esque scandal. Sheeeesh, we think Dave Paulsen inherited a dumpster fire? How about inheriting a black hole next to Uranus?!?
FAMOUS MOMENTS IN HISTORY, with Dr. Jack Strop, Athletic Supporter
1969 – United States
· Goal: Let’s go to the Moon!
· Response: Nah, we might die and waste a lot of money. We’ll never recover from that
1492 – Spain
· Goal: Captain Columbus, we must sail to discover the New World!
· Columbus’s Response: Nah, who knows if its really even there. If I come back a failure, my reputation and career will be over. I’ll never recover from that.
2500 BC – Giza, Egypt
· Goal: We can build one of the most perfect structures in history, A smooth sided pyramid!
· Response: Yeah, we could but the ones we have already are nice, why bother?
5 Million, BC
· Primate Goal: I have an idea! Why don’t walk on just two feet. It’ll free up our hands to do a lot of cool shit!
· Australopithecus Response: That’s just stupid. We’ve been getting along fine for 30 million years they way we are, why change? How do you know something won’t go wrong?
350 Million, BC
· Fish with feet that can breathe oxygen: You know, this living in the water thing is getting old. Why don’t we start walking on land?
· Fish Chief Response: Are you crazy?!?!
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