Ebola discussion thread

[CHRISTOPHER JAMES JOLLAY]

It seems this was a weekend of optimism...no major Ebola incidents and a hitch-free Mason Madness that many fans enjoyed.

The climate of fear caused me to stay in and watch FSU/Notre Dame instead of attending, but I am glad to see many partook in the festivities and fireworks show afterward.

 

[CHRISTOPHER JAMES JOLLAY]

As many of you are no doubt wondering, how will the Ebola discovered in NYC yesterday affect the A-10 Tourney?

Fortunately I have your answers.

As of the now the infectee's apartment has been cordoned off in HARLEM, but he did ride the train Wednesday night to a bowling alley in BROOKLYN, where the tourney is. Also of note, he is being treated in MANHATTAN, where some of us stay for the tourney.

I will keep everyone abreast of the situation. There is no need to thank me, I know I am doing the Lord's work. Return to your asinine conversations in the less important threads; I hope they are going well. Be mindful that you can ban any idiot to this thread at any time if enough agree to mead out punishment for repeated stupid posts.

God bless you all.

 

[Quentin Daniels]

Jollay -

As our resident Ebola expert, what would you say is an acceptable percentage of Ebola infections during the tournament and does this number change based upon the team's performance?

Thank you for your efforts. I know you've said it isn't necessary, but I feel compelled to express my appreciation.

 

[gmutom]

The glass-is-half-full view is that we most likely won't be in NY long enough to catch anything.

 

[EXpatriot13]

Dammit. I live in NY. Did I just give this thread Ebola? Sorry guys.

 

[DeepValue]

As of the now the infectee's apartment has been cordoned off in HARLEM, but he did ride the train Wednesday night to a bowling alley in BROOKLYN, where the tourney is.

The victim was hosting an Ebowlathon to raise money for the fight against this scourge. On a brighter note, the Ebola Czar still has a job for a few more weeks.

 

[CHRISTOPHER JAMES JOLLAY]

Jollay -

As our resident Ebola expert, what would you say is an acceptable percentage of Ebola infections during the tournament and does this number change based upon the team's performance?

Thank you for your efforts. I know you've said it isn't necessary, but I feel compelled to express my appreciation.

I apologize for the late reply. I have been making preparations for when this thing explodes. A lot of people assume they can just use their Zombie Attack Preparedness (ZAP) guides for this crisis, when in fact new contingencies must be made. For instance, my zombie scenerio relies heavily on crossbows, where my Ebola contingencies rely more on clensing fire.

It is almost certain now based on my calculations that a major event is coming. It will affect just stupid people mainly first, but then spread virtually everywhere. There will be panic, but I cannot see a scenerio where the tourney is NOT played, unless casualties nationwide reach around the 75% mark.

We are indeed fortunate to have a Witch Doctor like Chevron Thompson on our roster now.

 

[CHRISTOPHER JAMES JOLLAY]

I will say that the number of cases we're looking at by the end of the year varies wildly. The "experts" quoted here put the number at varying from a couple to a worst-case scenerio of 130.

http://www.newsmaxhealth.com/newswi...get&nmx_content=121&nmx_campaign=widgetphase2

Here at my think tank located high in the Ebola-free hills of Alexandria, we place the number at somewhere between 45,000 and 6.5 million, with approximately 1,500 to 75,000 cases in the DMV.

 

[CHRISTOPHER JAMES JOLLAY]

Going down,
my knees hit first,
splitting old scars,
and spilling more blood....
Every side touched by slow quicksand on cold toes.
The virus rages on.
Being scared to write means something,
damming up words that are my body
denies sweet breath
to parts that need the most to breathe.
My fetus universe
flashes red and gold
on the walls
inside the cave...
Bust out that cage!
Shut off the light!
Wander through the street!
Back from the dead
again
I have a bone to pick...
Once wandering alone in darkness,
I was guided by my Jesus from some slinky, slimy nothing
to a tangible, erotic dream.
My Jesus and my Virgil
--eaten up too soon.
I had to walk through Hell alone
Now poised at my striking hour...
I have no more words.

 

[CHRISTOPHER JAMES JOLLAY]

If anyone else has ebola-inspired poetry, I invite you to share it here and now.

 

[Walter]

I might have something later tomorrow. Hopefully not.

 

[Pikapppatri8]

How about poetry inspired by an awkward itch.

 

[CHRISTOPHER JAMES JOLLAY]

An awkward itch can turn into Ebola, so your submission is welcome, Pi Kap. Walt as well.

Today I am subbing at a school for recent immigrants, teaching them about fractions and William Zabka and shit. The likelihood of ebola is high, but I cannot resist the urge to help my fellow man.

 

[gmutom]

Today I am subbing at a school for recent immigrants...

Jollay, just follow this blueprint and you'll be fine.

 

[Plink833]

This is seriously the weirdest f**king thread in the history of these boards (CAA Zone included). What in the world is the point of this?

 

[A.-Siegfried]

This is seriously the weirdest f*cking thread in the history of these boards (CAA Zone included). What in the world is the point of this?

Wow. You expect a message board to have a point.....

...wrong place pal.

 

[GSII]

What has gone unreported is the avalanche of opium pouring into northern virginia from Aghanistan. Apprently it's evident some Mason fans are using this drug to prepare for the season ahead.

 

[CHRISTOPHER JAMES JOLLAY]

This is seriously the weirdest f*cking thread in the history of these boards (CAA Zone included). What in the world is the point of this?

My friend. Now is not the time to quibble needlessly amongst ourselves.

I have argued with many on these forums--49ers guy, Pat Holloway's mommie, Mikey the Chimp--but I have no more energy for conflict.

The infection is spreading. Either we bind together in survivalist threads like these, or we will be extinguished.

Tonight is a sad night. As some of you mayhave noticed, we were polished off by a lower division Ivy League team at home.There are still no salt packets on the main concourse, and campus police are placing orange traffic cones nearly everywhere now.

Calgon, take me away.

 

[Walter]

I said I would write a poem. so I did.

The players shit the floor last night
Do you think they have Ebola? or nah?
The fans vomited in the stands last night
Do you think they had Ebola? or nah?
The students are trapped in a living nightmare
Do you think they have Ebola? or nah?
Georgia Tech is still shitty and sick
Maybe it isn't Ebola after all
Maybe it is Program Destroyer Paul Hewitt

 

[CHRISTOPHER JAMES JOLLAY]

Well done, Walt. Well done.