Classic Jollay!
The best thing about these types of posts of his is trying to figure out how much truth there is to the post. I suspect it is a higher percentage than most posters think
Literally this post is 100% true except for the oral sex part.
To be perfectly honest I was only into giving that stuff to girls in the 18-29 range.
More likely I like do the dishes or wash the windows or some shit. I mean, I love my wife but crap, we're getting close to 50.
Plus it's hard to tell where a lot of odors come from in our bed. We have two dogs and a little ragamuffin kid that crawl in my bed constantly and once I take my contact lenses out I'm pretty goddamned likely to get confused, to be honest. I can't be sure which odor is emanating from where, so I can't really take any chances, if you know what I mean.
Louisville is just up in the air at this point.